Easier said than done!

To make this a reality, you may need to set some new boundaries and start saying no more often. This could be saying no to work / domestic load / overscheduling / expectations from family or friends etc.

However, saying no is really hard for introverts to do. From a young age, it is quite likely that our instinctive needs for solitude, downtime and low stimulation were not understood or validated.

So we never learned how to assert our needs as children. As we grew up, we probably got into a pattern of ignoring our own needs most of the time in order to fit with the extrovert norms of everyday life.

So now, the thought of saying no or expressing our authentic needs can be really challenging.

Try this exercise:

1) Picture an upcoming task, activity, event or obligation that you don’t want to do.

2) Imagine saying no - without making up a fake excuse. Just explain that you need some time to yourself to recharge your batteries.

3) How does that feel in your body - do you feel any sensations in your stomach / chest / throat etc?

4) Focus on that physical feeling in your body. If that sensation had a voice - what would it say? (eg the internal voice might be saying, ‘I would let them down’ or ‘They would think badly about me’ or ‘That would be too selfish’ etc. This voice is an internalised belief - and it drives our thoughts and emotions.

5) Ask yourself what it is costing you to follow this belief? (eg it might be adding to your overwhelm, taking up time that you would rather spend in other ways, it might result in distraction or exhaustion that turns into snappiness with your children, disconnection, shutting down, not being present etc)

This exercise can help click you out of auto pilot and put into perspective what really matters. It can be the first step in motivating you to simplify the way you spend your time so that you feel less overwhelmed.